• Why is it that good looking middle age single / gay / or divorced men like to talk to me? I dont care that your dad is on your shit / you want me / you think you are cooler than your daughters. Seriously. Im just trying enjoy my space. What, do I look like your 70′s porn star Uncle? Please, I have nothing to do and I’d like to do it over there. Alone. By myself. Where are all the hot 21 year olds? Why can’t they talk to me instead?
Also, bro. If youre at show to see The Walkmen, dont come over to me and start chatting up a storm about Free Energy and Ok Go. Youre at the wrong show. There is no jail bate here for you to get drunk and molest. However, there are a shit ton of drunk douchebags, old people, and tall lanky alts with their midget girlfriends. Go talk to them.
• Dood, If youre going to take photos of me on your iPhone while I ride the A-train, at least look like you’re doing something else. I could feel you eye fucking me. Yeah, I know I am hot, but that doesnt give you the right to treat me like a piece of meat. I hope you post my photos to your blog and they get no comments. Dick. I could see myself in the reflection of the glass. If I hire a private dick, you’re the last person I call.
• Never help anyone. Ever. Tonight I helped someone figure out what bus to take and I missed my bus. Sucks right? I had to wait in the cold for an hour until the next bus came. Which reminds me: Don’t trust anyone that doesnt speak English. When they say that the last bus comes at 1am, what they really mean is the last bus comes at 1am Mountain time. Thanks for the tip bro. I almost had to sleep in a piss of a bus station.