There’s only one thing I’m really hoping for when I die. I don’t care if those bastards roll me up in a carpet like Cleopatra and dump me in the Schuykill. I don’t care if they set me on fire and bury me in my neighbor’s rose garden. I don’t care about either of these things because I have an option that will make all of those burials unimportant.
The Mormons can baptize you post-humously!
They’ve been doing it to a LOT of Jews. THAT’S WHAT I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR! I don’t have to commit to any religion NOW because the Mormons can do it for me LATER. Thank God. Or Joseph Smith or whoever.
But some people are being party poopers, as people will be. Elie Weisel, who was recently listed as “ready” for the posthumous list, is leading the pooper party charge. He even attacked the Mormon overlord, Mitt Romney saying, ”I wonder if as a candidate for the presidency Mitt Romney is aware of what his church is doing. I hope that if he hears about this that he will speak up.”
Jeez Elie, first you write a book about sadness that I was forced into reading for highschool, now this. It’s like you don’t want anyone to have fun.
Fun-Killer.
Let’s hope Senor Wiesel doesn’t get his way and the 650,000 Holocaust victims who the Mormons have ALREADY proxy baptized were not brought into the divine light of Christianity in vain. That would just make those poor souls turn over in their graves.
And as for the Mormons out there with with the power to do this baptism ritual, please sign me and my jewfriends up for your bizarre, posthumous malarky. I’m really concerned about my soul and the souls of all my hook-nosed amigos. Being a Jew is soooooo dirty.
Akiva W
02/16/2012
Mormonism is NOT a form of Christianity.
You deflated your entire post by including that line in the zinger.
The Duckman
02/16/2012
Take this with a grain of salt. Mormons identify with Christians. //via wikipedia
Akiva W
02/17/2012
Yes, that’s my point.
Mormons identify with Christians in the same manner as Mormons identify with Jewish people.
Many many Christian sects are just as upset with Mormonism over the same issue in this article, such as the wholesale post-humous baptizing of every beatified and sainted Catholic person of interest in the world. Several Christian sects have been sitting at the same side of table with the ADL, Weisenthal Center, et al during the entire process of trying to stop the Mormons in SLC from the post-humous baptisms of our forefathers.
That’s all I got to say, back to music reviews!