Dear fellow Jew and jew-ettes,
I make fun of Orthodox Judaism for its unnecessary laws, reform Jews for their coloring book-style siddurim, and Christians for being Christian. I’ve left the conservative Jews alone because USUALLY you guys don’t do anything to piss me off. Conservative Jews, at least for me, aren’t too strict or too…un-strict.
But you guys are making it @$$%ing hard right now.
Here is the issue.
Kolot, a magazine for the conservative movement, chose to show a picture on its cover of two women holding hands, their arms wrapped in tefillin. The image was meant to represent an acceptance of female rabbis in the Conservative movement. However, some people got all snarky, as people will do, and decided that images of women holding hands promotes lesbianism and sexytimes.
GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Right.
If the cover picture was of two men holding hands it would not be considered a sexy image. It would be two dudes holding hands.
Jews, I’m sorry that woman hands are attractive. I’m sorry that when you see a female wrist you want to suck on the fingers that are attached to it. But let’s not blame a magazine for our dirty, perverse, minds.
Two people holding hands is a common symbol of friendship and acceptance. It is often used to represent diversity, as such. There are three men holding hands in this picture, Does that mean they are involved in a crazy threesome?
The entire point of the article and cover is to promote female rabbi as something that should be common and uncontested. This trivializing of this issue as just a woman sex thing is an affront to women everywhere. Come on guys. Come on!
