“Mitt Romney looks like everyone who ever fired your dad” as Jon Stewart put it. But maybe Jon was selling it short. Maybe Mitt isn’t just the guy who fired your dad, he’s the guy who killed your dad. And not in the “Mitt Romney is a serial killer” sort of thing that (not-)Colbert’s Super PAC said. No, this would be the rich guy who snapped. You know, some VP of something, facing a lot of heat, and then one day the pressure just gets to him. And he thinks to himself, “these fucking peons, it’s their fault. I’m eating crow for their shit. Well, no one gives a fuck about peons.”
Yeah, this guy’s gonna lose it. (Image via Wikipedia)
Then he invites your dad out for a drink or something. And your dad goes, because it’s his boss. Little does he know he’ll spend the night running from Axe Romney, who will eventually catch and kill him. And then your mom will get all scared when your dad doesn’t show up for dinner. And then things spiral out of control from there. The investigating officer turns up without a head. Mitt starts showing up late to work. Eventually, when the truth comes out, it’s sort of a relief to everyone.
Now, I’m not saying that Mitt Romney has killed someone. I’m saying that Mitt Romney lives in a different world. A world where Mormons apparently forsake their anti-gambling tenets and attempt bet $10,000 to Texans. Where being “unemployed” means having a pile of money so large it actually earns more money for you. At some point, Mitt Romney is going to decide that the rules just don’t apply to him, since many of them don’t.
I’d rather he was unemployed when that happened.
