Last year I wrote about 8 things I didn’t want to see in 2k11. That didn’t work. In fact, I think I emboldened everything I talked about. Instead I’m going to write about 8 trends / aspects of life I want to see diminish in 2k12.
1. The Death of the Hipster
Every week another newspaper, magazine, blog, clothing store, or book attempts to kill off the hipster. The “death of the hipster” meme is usually spread by self haters. It’s about time people start embracing hipsterism. Live it. Love it. Be it.
2. Caturday
So everyone and their mother loves cats. I get it. They’re cute and cuddly. But there is an entire world of cute animals out there, people. Let’s mix it up a bit. How about Slothursday? Monkeyday? Birdnesday? Pupunday? C’mon. Get creative.
3. Award Shows
Why do people watch the circle jerking that is an award show? You know those things are rigged. It’s like watching the WWE, but less funny, and more botox. Does it really matter who got a Grammy? You know you’re never going to listen to Adele or Coldplay, or whomever got an Emmy. I don’t know. I don’t watch these things.
4. Sexting Scandals
Don’t let the lame stream media fool you. Sexting is a perfectly okay thing to do. Just remember to cover your tracks, don’t take a photo of your face, and leave a little room for mystery. No one likes a straight up dick shot.
5. Newspapers
People stopped reading 10 years ago. You’re killing trees while printing day old news.
6. Non history things on the History Channel
This is kinda weird, but the History Channel stopped making shows about history. Instead we got guys picking through trash, selling their dead aunts crap at a pawn shop, and bidding on useless garbage. WTF? Bring back the WWII Nazi propaganda.
7. World Hunger
Just kidding. You think I really care about that? You should see the look on your face right now.
8. Claims of anti-semitism
Being called an anti-semite is just about as watered down as being called a hipster. It’s come to the point where I feel like I could be considered an anti-semite. Am I an anti-semite? Shit. Time to start anti-semite-hipsterjew.com
