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Dear Hipster Jew
I live in the middle of nowhere and there are no decent eligible Jewish women. None at all. Not even any Jewish women my age. I am going to be doing a medical nursing program for the next 4 years and I’ll be surrounded by fine Goyish ladies. I am not going to get married unless she is a member of the tribe but is it Ok to date non-kosher girls if you know that you are not going to marry them? Should I keep the fact that I don’t plan on marrying them secret? Are shiksas just for practice?
- J.
Dear J (is the J for Jew or Joshua?)
It is never okay to lie to a woman. Let me make this clear. Never. Okay. Now women, please leave the room for a minute.
Are they gone? Good. Look, it is totally okay to lie to a woman. In fact, I’m pretty sure in Judaism it’s actually a Mitzvah. Don’t quote me on that, but there has to be a reason why so many religious women continue to be entirely subservient to their husbands. Heaps upon heaps of lies. But it isn’t easy to keep the lies and charades up. Some women aren’t tricked so easily…usually the crazy paranoid ones, aka the Jewish girls.
That being said, Shiksas are not just for practice. Find one who is susceptible to Jewish tradition. If you hit things off and date for awhile, trick her into converting. Sure, she’ll suddenly develop massive pains of guilt, and will have to accept a lot of arbitrary rules. But in return she gets your rock hard…devotion to your religion.
If religious devotion isn’t sexy, I dunno what is.
Also…wait. Did you say something about marriage? Dating should not be a gateway to marriage. Dating should be a gateway for fun. Marriage should happen when you accidentally knock her up. And your first marriage should be practice for your second. Or third.
And just remember: Goyish grandchildren are better than no grandchildren, I don’t care what they tell you.
-Hipster Jew
A-Train
09/17/2011
My father and mother, before they die at hand of terrible tyrannt say, “Go to America. Find shicksa, use her for practice.”
Noah David Simon
09/17/2011
that ain’t funny. if I were a half Jew I’d end up like Oliver Stone’s kid. yeah… you know? doing a movie with A’jad. This whole Shiksa shit is pure bigotry. It isn’t funny… and it is wrong. The backlash is hatred. I had a child with a gentile. The abuse against her was horrible. I took her to one of those Jewish Christmas parties for upscale Jewish liberal feminists in NYC and they beat her up in the bathroom. Told her they were taking out the trash. I’m so tired of listening to Jewish politically correct feminist women and their pussy whipped blue state Jewish men acting like they are so superior when the truth is when a decent woman who comes along… who wasn’t even Christian (just from a Christian background) and you left wing asshats show your true colors. I’m going to vote for Sarah Palin just to piss on your parade. And yes I am a Jew!
Mikvah McElroy
09/19/2011
Sounds like he hates his daughter; why else would he take her to an upscale Jewish liberal feminist party? He’s just asking to get his daughter beat up. They put ‘roids in the cosmos at those parties.
Asshat hate
The Duckman
09/19/2011
You understood that rant?
Mikvah McElroy
09/20/2011
Not really, no.