“Our situation is extremely serious,” the postmaster general, (a worthless position used to extort blowjobs and coke cash) Patrick R. Donahoe, said in an interview. “If Congress doesn’t act, we will default.”
As any computer user knows, the Internet revolution has led to people and businesses sending far less conventional mail.
Of course the USPS still moves 3 billion pieces of mail a week. This seems like a lot of mail. Which it is. Emails probably range in the ‘too fucking high to count’ column. But using logic and mathematics, USPS is the clear underdog. They are no longer ‘relevant’, and therefore true Hipsters can begin using them again. They are the Beirut to your Arcade Fire.
So that being said, I will no longer speak to people through the internet. No more Facebook. No more Google+. No more Twitter. If you have something to say about a picture of mine, you will have to view it on my flickr account and send me a hand written letter about how wonderful it was.
Just think about how much more people you would like to talk to if you only knew what was going on in their lives once or twice a month, instead of multiple times a day in your newsfeed/twitterfeed?
