My friends signed me up for OKCupid. Which is always how it works, because internet dating is embarrassing. Either way, if anything comes of it I promise to tell you how miserable my life is. Until then….
They sent me a flow chart about ‘How Picky I Am’, or more positively titled ‘A Flow Chart to My Heart’. Turns out ‘Chicky’ rhymes very well with ‘Picky’.
1) You have to communicate with me. Sometimes.
2) You have to be open to a serious/non-serious relationship.
3) You have to be willing to have sex before marriage.
4) And you have to brush your teeth atleast once a day.
Damnit! It all makes sense. This is why I am continuously single. Because I am too shallow and have too many requirements for a woman. No wonder why I haven’t produced grandchildren for my parents yet. I hope some lady out there is willing to take this schmuck as her lawfully wedded husband….one day…
