Of Capers and Jews

(Ed Note: Another new writer/illustrator has entered the fray! Please welcome the artistically talented Ms. Ruchel Puchel. The new pictures you find on this site, like the one in this post, will be her handiwork.)

Every so often I get hit up with questions from my goy friends about being Jewish. You know the usual. “What are Kuguls?”,  “What’s with the no pork thing?”,  “What does shmegegge mean? I heard it on that Rugrats Passover special.”…You know the questions that plague their minds from our badass faith.

Usually we have no issues answering these obscure and at time, yes slightly offensive questions… Just knock it up to their curiosity. Answering these question come as easy to us as Hollywood did. Yet every blue moon, the occasion arises when we get asked the one question that just stumps us.  For me, it was while eating breakfast with a colleague before work who slipped in this little ditty mid-bite and ruined my bagel and shmear.

“So what exactly IS a caper?”

My brain came to a screech and so did my favorite mealtime. I had no answer. Because I had no idea. And then I was filled with shame. Because we realize then, we are truly creatures of little knowledge, especially when we don’t have a Smartphone with Internet connections. Damn, you Verizon…

When it comes to capers, it’s a complicated relationship filled with angst and strife. We love them and yet we know nothing about them. We cover our bagels with them and make sure our lox is ever lovingly cradling them. Now yes, Capers are not exclusively Jewish, but lets be honest. Who else eats them? Well, you know, besides Italians.. And Greeks. And anyone who likes Tartar sauce with their hushpuppies (yes, capers are the main ingredient in them. thank you, Wikipedia. Now I know why I love it so much.)

So I ask you, dear reader, do you know what a caper is?