Last week I wrote about the debt crisis and implored all my ones of readers to contact their congressmen and women to urge them to reach a compromise. As a good G-d fearing, gun loving, beer swilling, communist shooting, rootin’, tootin’ American, I did so.
Your humble writer
I live in the 1st District of Louisiana, and am represented by a man whose only limitations are his intelligence and abilities. His name is Steve Scalise. My email implored him to work with the Democrats to craft a debt deal that won’t balance the budget on the backs of our grandmothers and the homeless.
He responded with a basic form letter about how he supported a bill entitled “cut, cap, and balance” that favored draconian cuts. He claimed that cutting spending will hurt no one. He also said that he won’t cut from senior citizens, soldiers, or delay bond payments. And went on to rail about job growth being killed by taxes among other bits of Tea Party claptrap.
Bemused, I wrote this in response:
Dear Congressman Scalise,
Thank you for your form letter response. It makes me glad to know that you are receptive to your constituents’ concerns.
Your support for the “cut, cap, and balance” plan is incongruous with your support for “solv[ing] this problem not by pitting one group of Americans against another, but instead by controlling Washington spending”. Any cut, right or wrong, will effect a group of Americans. It is dishonest to claim otherwise.
As patriotic Americans, we in the 1st District of Louisiana should take the lead in surrendering the following government services for the good of the nation. We do not need to dredge the Mississippi, maintain our levees, monitor hurricanes, strengthen our schools through education grants, or improve our interstates. Since none of these effect “seniors”, who don’t drive or go to school, “our military troops” who are engaged abroad, or “our bond holders”, who would be paid on time, this plan should be one you accept. The rest of us are able-bodied adults who can fend for ourselves by hunting, fishing and bartering for our needs. I eagerly await the day I can trade five pounds of nails for an egg-laying chicken.
Think of the dozens (hundreds?) of other districts nationwide with Congressmen and women of your mindset that can pitch in to join this patriotic effort. With our valiant self-sacrifice we can probably achieve a significant debt reduction. For the purposes of full disclosure, I look forward to this decision, for as a self-employed woodsman, as I’ve been able to leverage my talents into a lucrative firm that builds mud huts for the newly homeless and can only imagine the boon such a plan would be to my business.
Taxes are extremely low by both historical and international standards. Yet, for some reason, the economy is not booming. Job growth is stagnant. Why is that? Could it be that there are factors beyond taxation which have significant influence on the economy and employment?
Of course, a more rational course would be a combination of revenue enhancement and targeted cuts, however that sort of rationality appears to be lost on you. I hope for the future of the United States of America you come to your senses for the good of the nation.
I look forward to your reply.
Sincerely,
A-Train
See what I mean? The system works. Write your congressman. Time to get drunk.
