Yeah so I know ABC’s “The Bachelorette” is not considered alternative viewing, but this season is something of a win for the Jews because last night Bachelorette Ashley Hubert picked lone Jewish Bachelor J.P. as her future husband.
I cringed with the rest of Jew-merica, as Ashley’s tatted-the-fuck-up sister said she was looking forward to lots of “Thanksgivings and Christmases with J.P.”, and Ashley quietly interjected “Hanukkah!”. Thanks Ash! Chris laughed along, with contempt, as if relieved that was the last awkward exchange he will ever have to suffer through with the Bachelorette who was crucified by the other men for coming up short in the height/boobs/ass/personality/and normal-looking-ears department.
Seriously though, Mazel, Ash! Welcome to the tribe–assuming you see this sham through to the televised and closely produced wedding! Good on you, Ash! You were able to get over the goyish shithead Bentley (seriously who the fuck names their kid that?), and fall for the boring but nice, un-Jewy looking Jew! This season was a yawn but, incase you missed it, here are the only 14 minutes of the entire last season worth watching:
The Duckman
08/02/2011
I miss when we used to sit and watch the Bachelorette via ichat
Amber Austen
08/02/2011
wow, he’s an ass
Amber Austen
08/02/2011
omgaw what a train wreck…
The Duckman
08/03/2011
I think its all a lie. He is too perfect for tv.