Rest in Peace

As the foremost expert on television shows in the Central Time zone according to The New York Times and 17 Magazine, I would like to share some of my grief with you. For your viewing sorrow, I have provided a Hipster Jew-approved (or at least Schlitz Lipz-approved) Top 5 shows that died too young and broke our hearts. Cover up your mirrors and sit your shivas, because today, we mourn our heartbreaking losses.

Me too kitty, me too.

1. Arrested Development (November 2 2003, -February 10,2005) We unfortunate smart Americans only got to watch three seasons, that’s 53 beautiful episodes, of this hilarious show. I just don’t get it. How were the authors so creative? How did they do it? It’s like they took my dysfunctional family life and made it into the comedy it was born to be. Kudos Resty (that’s what we  used to call him back in the day). But then alas, all beautiful things must come to an early and devastating end so  dumb Americans said in their robots voices,”This witty dialogue does not compute.”  They just don’t get me!!! Er,,,, ummm…I mean it. And thus, the most well-written show I have ever been fortunate enough to watch was disbanded. Come on, America. COME ON!!!
2. Butt-Ugly Martians (April 2, 2004 – May 25, 2007) Yes. I really liked this show. Get over it.
3. Firefly (September 20, 2002 – August, 13, 2003) You really canceled this, Jews who run the media? REALLY? Not even a full year for this show? This western space show was born to be screwed over. First it started out on Fox for three months but viewers had no idea what was going on because Fox didn’t show the pilot first.  Then, after being canceled, the Sci-fi Channel took this gem and showed the last 3 episodes that Fox had refused to give us. But I still long for more! But as this guy from a blog I read said, For all those real fireflies we caught — and accidentally killed — as kids, this one found new life when the jar was reopened. Long may it glow.” I literally could not have put it better myself.
4. Freaks and Geeks (September 25, 1999 – July 8, 2000) I mean I guess its a good thing that this show was created because it was a starting point for the fame of many actors. But, at the same time, I wish it had never been born! Then my heart wouldn’t have been broken this way! Bla bla aforementioned teenage angst. And THAT is exactly what I loved about Freaks and Geeks. Oh, and Jason Segal.
5. My So-Called Life (August 25, 1994 – January 26, 1995) I’ve actually only watched two episodes of this show but I do love, as you know, those teenage ansty shows  and also this lady…so I was sold and in love and whatnot. IN LOVE. And then my heart broke becaused it, like all good things, came to a violent and horrible end.

And because you weren’t depressed enough..