Go The F*ck to Sleep – Jewish Version

Some people just don’t find this book entertaining or humorous…Mainly the PC police. Particularly this one PC policewoman from CNN.com.

“Imagine if this were written about Jews, blacks, Muslims or Latinos,” says Dr. David Arredondo. He is an expert on child development and founder of The Children’s Program, in the San Francisco metropolitan area, which provides consultation and training for those working with troubled youths.(CNN)

Of course. Using the old ‘What if this happened to a ________ minority’ card. Okay, Dr Arredondo. I’ll ignore the fact that the author is Jewish, and I’ll take you up on your challenge. What if it was written about Jews?

The original lines:
“The eagles who soar thru the sky are at rest
And the creatures who crawl, run and creep.
I know you are not thirsty. That’s bulls**t.
Stop lying.
Lie the f*** down, my darling, and sleep.”

Clearly the eagle in this is an allusion to Nietzschia’s concept of the beautiful blond beast. However, even the Ubermensch has to sleep sometimes at night.

But in case you aren’t interested in higher-thinking anti-Semitism, let me dumb it down for you:

The Jewish Version lines:
“The Jews who steal your money are at rest
They are the creatures who crawl, run and creep.
You are not thirsty (for Christian blood)? That’s bulls**t.
Stop lying.
Lie the f*** down, my darling, and sleep (DIE).”

Meh. It’s much funnier when it’s intended as a book for parents about children. My version was just anti-Semitic.

If you need Samuel L Jackson to lull you to sleep, click this link.