Don’t you just feel way too young sometimes? You know, you just wake up one morning, crawl out of bed, and there are no aches, pains, or cracks of any sort. Or you are playing catch with your niece and nephew, and you tire them out with your excessive energy. Its the worst, right?
In case you suffer from this problem just as strongly as I do, do not fear. There is something to make you feel old again!
Just think, in only a year or so you will get your first gray hair. Then your second, then your third. Soon your head will BE COMPLETELY GRAY (or I guess white if your so inclined).
In 5-10 years you will show up at your high school reunion [Ed note: Facebook has done away with this ancient concept]. You’ll find out that even though your parents told you the cool kids who made your life hell would end up pumping your gas, they are actually now neuroscientists who graduated from Harvard, or basketball stars playing for some team you’ve never heard of. On the bright side, hopefully you’ll have become a moderately successful indie filmmaker or head barista at Common Grounds.
On top of that, in a mere 20-30 years, your children will think the music you listen to is lame and your taste in clothes is soooooo 2010.
But don’t worry. You are still young and beautiful. I suggest smoking many cigarettes, drinking many beers, and sun-bathing without sunscreen to keep up your gorgeous appearance.
It doesn’t get much better than this.
Alissa
05/18/2011
Ha! With modern technology we can look like this for years and years! And those white things you pluck out of your eyebrows, no one needs to know!