May the Shwartz be With You

In honor of May the 4th, I have concrete evidence for you that proves that C-3PO is just a big jew.

Need examples? I got a list of quotes straight from imdb.

For one, he complains and nags in a style that is very similar to that of my grandmother. Let’s pretend C-3PO and R2-D2 are a nice Jewish married couple.  C-3PO is obviously the Jewish wife who destroys her husband’s spirit by nit-picking until he goes through some ridiculous mid-life crisis.

“No. I don’t think he likes you at all. I don’t like you either.

1. “Help! I think I’m melting! This is all your fault!” (this quote is repeated. It’s always R2-D2’s fault when he’s married to  a Jew)
2. “Don’t call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease. “
3. “No. I don’t think he likes you at all. I don’t like you either.”

Next, C-3PO is the eternal pessimist. He always sees the bad in every situation. Always.  If the characters of Star Wars were going to die every single time he screamed they were, maybe no one would have made  Episode 1-3.  Maybe that would have been a good thing?

1. “We’re doomed. “ (Repeated during several adventures)
2. I’ve just about had enough of you. Go that way. You’ll be malfunctioning within a day, you near-sighted scrap pile. And don’t let me catch you following me begging for help because you won’t get it.”
3. “Did you hear that? They shut down the main reactor. We’ll be destroyed for sure. This is madness.

I don’t even have quotes for my last theory on why C-3PO eats his bagels with lox.  Its just, he’s a giant human computer. He knows everything there is to know about ettique and customs and translation as well “six million forms of communication”  Lots of Jews are smart and nerdy, it’s a part of Jewdom. Therefore, he is Jewish.

I rest my case.