ATTN: Jewesses

I have a Jewish public service announcement:

A question, young Jewish women of America: How do you live with yourselves?

Every month, you lose something that is crucial to the proliferation of the Jewish people: your monthly oocyte. Your lady egg:

Gaga WISHES she could sell her oocytes

I was recently shown a craigslist add that asked for Jewish Egg donors. What a panacea! Now I no longer need to worry about how to finance my travels, expensive liberal education or my abortions! Because, yes, you guessed it; These organizations PAY us to donate our otherwise wasted eggs to rich, childless Jewish parents that just want to complete the cycle of guilt and public embarrassment that their own parents put them through.

Lets face it, Judaism is rapidly losing ground to all the other awesome religions and when you get right down to it, you weren’t using them anyway.

Disclaimer: I <3 my parents and have yet to be embarrassed by them, though they do try.