Once again I talk about coffee

Recently, I’ve become a coffee elitist. I feel quite proud of this accomplishment. This is something that makes me more hipster with each cup I drink, and since I average one or two cups a day, soon I’ll be undeniably cool. In the short time that I’ve owned a coffee bean grinder, I’ve moved from drinking pre-ground mild Folgers in a can to the exciting feeling of trying a different roast, bean, or flavor (and sometimes all three) every week. Yet I still have nagging doubts.

My favorite kind so far has been Seattle’s Best medium roast. But they’re a pretty big company. Is that hipster enough? I know they aren’t as mainstream as Starbucks, or Dunkin Donuts, but is that good enough? If my second favorite was the Dunkin Donuts Breakfast Brew, does that mean I’m in trouble since they’re America’s number one coffee? What about diner coffee? Now that I like my beans freshly ground, I only really respect diners for the fact that they give you free refills. That’s elitist, sure, but is that too far? Does it really count as hipster if I’m still buying my beans from the grocery store instead of the coffee shop? Pretty much the only thing I can really say for sure is that if you’re a hipster, you might get away with a cup of Starbucks. But you will never live down getting a McCafe from McDonalds. That is just straight-up embarrassing.

But you know, I’ve heard they taste pretty good… no! Resist! Think of your cred!

Is the only way to achieve hipster victory in this battle to start my own bean cultivation and roast them on my own time? I hope not. If so, not even my newly acquired pairs of skinny jeans can keep my hipster cred where it needs to be.