Popular conception is everything. The power of the masses thinking and believing something is true is a force not to be messed with. It’s why in the movies, silencers on guns actually silence instead of make less noise, and you can walk away from a huge explosion like nothing is happening, and why there’s sound in space. Don’t attempt to portray things accurately. Everyone knows explosions always make a big boom.
“But HipsterJew!” you ask, “What does this have to do with hipsters? Or Jews? Or that sexy combination demographic, hipster-Jews?”
Everything.
Ask someone where hipsters live. Go on, ask anyone. The person sitting next to you on the bus, maybe, or someone you know in your classes. For bonus points, ask your parents in a little kid voice. “Mommy, where do hipsters come from?” (Well, when college kids are very bored and feel that their life is empty and devoid of any meaning…) Three locations will usually be brought up over and over: Williamsburg (or New York City more generally), Portland, and San Francisco. But… if those are the top three answers, aren’t the hipsters in those areas living in a mainstream city? (Oh snap! The horror!)
Obviously, this is what Harry Potter would have been like if set in New York City.
This is why Chicago is the best city. Sure, we have our own hipster areas, but they’re obscure, and you’ve probably never heard of them. And since our winter weather sucks so much, no one will ever want to move here just to look hip. In fact, we lost population in the last five years, making us even more obscure. Plus we just got Rahm Fucking Emanuel as mayor. Take that, “big Apple.” If you really are an apple.
