Natalie Portman. I’ve watched you grow up into a young beautiful woman. One who dislikes anti-Semites nearly as much as I do. Sure, I always liked you. But only a little bit. Mainly because most people who liked you were douchebags. They would write 5,000 word expositions about why you were better and hotter than _________. But you weren’t. Sure, you are a cute Israeli/American Jewish woman. No one will take that away from you. But I wouldn’t put you as super model status. Hot Jewish wife at best.
But then I saw The Black Swan. Where two beautiful JILFs befriended each other and were involved in an awkward imaginary/psychotic softcore lesbian sex scene. It made me like you a bit more.
And then I read an interview in Tablet Magazine about her. About her Jewish connection. And I fell a little in love.
To be 13 again and at a Bar Mitzvah with her….
I know. You are wondering how I could ever give up my boyish crush on Christina Hendricks.
And yet.
As she describes some of her Long Island girlfriends, the slur “JAP” pops into my head and I ask how she feels when someone uses the word. “I mean, I grew up in a Long Island public school that was 60 to 70 percent Jewish and I know what a JAP is,” she says, sipping her tea. “But obviously the word shouldn’t be misused. I wouldn’t want to have stereotypes used in derogatory ways by people outside the Jewish community, but I think it is something from within the community that we need to examine and be self-critical about, because it’s how we’re raising our young people.”
She likes her religion. She knew lots of JAPs. And she believes that the term JAP is ‘our word’ and ‘our word’ only. Kinda like how I feel about “Kike”. She is also all about being a self-critical Jew. I’m a self-critical Jew! That’s literally what this blog is about, when you dig through the piles of stupid poop jokes and pop culture references.
I also love Star Wars. Not the ones she was in. But I assume she only did it because she loves Star Wars too.
Natalie Portman, please marry me?
The only woman I would become Hassidic for.
jonah@hebrew.com
10/03/2011
the reason natalie portman is good looking is shes a half jew. Its like saying halle berry is a beautiful black woman. Shes white LOL
anon
05/19/2012
“I also love Star Wars. Not the ones she was in. But I assume she only did it because she loves Star Wars too”
if you knew anything about natalie portman then you would know that she was asked to do the role even when she didnt watch the earlier films, and she took it upon herself to watch them and realise how much of a huge fanbase was behind it
you didnt like her because of her fans? why should that even matter, its not like she can control her fans
you only like her more and became interested because she is jewish and did a lesbian scene? how shallow is that
oh by the way she said on many occasions shes not very religious but loves her heritage