So now that your humble Hipster-Jew blogger is on vacation for a week, there looms the obvious question… what do I do with myself during that time? This is made doubly hard by the fact that this is going to be my last spring break ever and I still haven’t been to a wet t-shirt contest in Florida or Cancun. Isn’t time running out?
Well, to be fair, I think those sorts of spring break vacations are mythical and/or staged– designed to get bros and or the families of bros to spend money on a vacation that actually doesn’t exist. But this still doesn’t solve my problem. How do I have the best spring break I possibly can, since this will be my last one? SXSW is over– if only I had a break last week instead. Other festivals aren’t up and running til summer, so that’s a bust.
Maybe I could spend the whole time pontificating over useless musical bullshit, which guarantees that I’m behaving like a hipster the whole time. Do I prefer the raw, energetic loudness of Pains of Being Pure at Heart’s debut, or is their produced, studio loudness as of “Belong” a better fit? Is shoegaze an acceptable genre for a hipster to listen to, or am I limited to indie pop and hipster-hop? If I keep writing like this all week, will Pitchfork hire me?
Or perhaps I could find a list of movies that is one of those “must see” or “best arthouse films” and watch them all, posting snarky review of each one, promising to do the whole list, but eventually growing bored as my attention span runs out/my blood-alcohol content goes past a certain percentage. My non-existent readership would kill me if I didn’t follow through, though.
Of course, I’m not the type to do only one thing over a week’s worth of time. I’m sure I’ll find plenty of opportunities to visit thrift stores, get an even bigger pair of tortoise-shell frames, or hunt for rare vinyl. I guess what I’m saying is that, in order to keep both my readership (all three of you) and myself entertained, the goal is to act as stereotypically hip as possible.
Stereotypically hip as possible? Better call up my spring break hipster posse.
Failing all of this, I’ll just get super drunk.
