I have always thought the great works of the past were missing only one thing. This “thing” would be defined as douchebaggery and pretentiousity. Yes. Both of those words are made up. Regardless of my vocabulary choices, the nub and gist of the matter is that art history was just not hipsterjew enough for me.
In the past, the great classics, had just been acting subtly better then me. The Mona Lisa with her stupid smile was saying, in a sort of under her breath way, “I know way more about Cindy Lauper’s early years then you do (ironically of course).” But, all my life I had secretly been wanting a Degas to jeté up to my face, yank the Pall Mall out of my trembling fingers, take a puff, and say “Damnit, why are you not as understanding of the works of Kurt Vonnegut as I?”
I lived my life with a sense of loss until, one day, March 7, 2011, to be precise, I stumbled upon a world so much fresher and more beautiful then my own. A tumblr that showed images of the great pieces of Van Gogh, Frida Kahlo, and Boticelli acting as pretentious as they had been born to be!
This is what I always thought the painting wanted to say!
My mind has been blown.
It wasn't douche-tastic enough that this entire painting is made of little circles.
I should be an art history major.
Yep. Venus is totally like that. Dirty hipster slut.
If you are as interested in seeing the truth in art as I was, check it at http://hipsterarthistory.tumblr.com/. You too can be enlightened.
