We hipsters are a fickle bunch, demanding the latest high-tech, Apple gadgetry while extolling vinyl albums. Our hatred of all things old but not cool enough to be chic is having a significant effect on record sales. Cake’s latest album has captured the top slot on the Billboard 200 album-sales chart with a whopping 44,000 sold since its debut a week ago. 44,000? I’m in at least twice that much debt thanks to my liberal arts college experience.
Albums are the greatest expression of human artistry. Where else can you buy an item and get up to a dozen other things you don’t want, for free (prostitutes excluded)? I refuse to watch another obsolete format go the way of leaded gasoline.
My solution to save the album format is simple: make truly portable record players. I’m not talking about the small table top devices marketed as mobile, but truly moveable record players small enough to be stored in a messenger bag with a headphone jack permitting it easy listening while navigating traffic, doing tai chi or eating unusual ethnic food. It would also have a market because IPods are uncomfortable in the pockets of my skinny jeans.
