I was a hipster before it was cool

The easiest way to spot a hipster (or let’s be fair: a wannabe hipster) isn’t by looking at the shirt they are wearing. (SHAMELESS PLUG: BUY OUR SHIRTS Y’ALL. The rent on this loft isn’t cheap you know. I need that money for Parliaments and booze)

No, what you need to look out for is this phrase: “I liked X before it was cool/popular.”

“Yeah, we used to hang out in Central Park all the time, but then it got all popular. Now it’s totes lame.”

Pretty simple, right? Well, every rule has a few exceptions, so you have to be a little careful. So if someone claims that they liked, say, Linkin Park before they were cool, I’d be skeptical. It’s mostly about common sense; if you’ve heard of “X” before and so has everyone else ever, no dice. If you’ve never heard of “X,” you’ve been out-hipped. Solution? Read moar Pitchfork.

It’s sort of related to the punk rules concerning “selling out,” but instead of being centered on money, the focus here is on any and all forms of tangible success, meaning that the hipster’s favorite band/author/restaurant is eternally struggling to survive, with no accolades or recognition for their talent. It creates an unsustainable paradigm, where once “X” receives recognition, they are shunned by their base, who flock to the next undiscovered object. This is why the hipster’s favorite band will always have an awesome debut album and then “stagnate.”

So when looking for hipsters in the wild, be prepared for “Yeah, but then they got popular. Their first album before they signed a record contract was much better.” Chances are, he’ll be wearing a Hipster Jew tshirt.