My boys at Freedarko wrote an awesome book called The Undisputed Guide To Basketball History. Its a lot like The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons, but with much less talk about porn, gambling and 90′s reality shows.
(and by “my boys” I mean I read their stuff and they don’t know who I am. Which is kind of like most of my relationships…what was I talking about? This is a really long parenthetical…)
Now they’ve teamed up with a Jewish mag called Tablet to make this cool choose your own all-time Jewish basketball team thing.
Here’s what my team, The Shvitzin Shlemazels, ended up looking like:
Red Auerbach- Who else would a Celtics fan pick?
Barney Sedran- I actually didn’t know anything about him, but I hate Jordan Farmer (again, Celtics fan) and Larry Brown (just do). Sedran is the shortest player in the basketball HOF, so that’s neat.
Max Zaslofsky- I didn’t know of any of these shooting guards, so I picked the one with the coolest name.
Art Heyman- I chose him because he’s apparently a big, angry, jerk and every team needs one. Plus he once punched out Larry Brown, a male cheerleader and then punched the other teams coach in the balls all in one fight.
Dolph Schayes- He is the greatest Jewish basketball player of all time. You should know this. Everyone should know this. End of discussion. He beats out Amar’e for power forward for three reasons: 1. He’s better, 2. He doesn’t have a random punctuation in his name, 3. He’s actually Jewish.
Neal Walk- Chosen for his incredible mustache.
So have fun making your own team out of the 15 different players and 3 different coaches. Not much to choose from, but who’s fault is that? You guys really need to spend more time at the JCC gym working on your jumper.
