Did ya check out the latest list of nominations for Grammys? Is the world becoming more hip, or do I listen to obviously mainstream music? Look at this list of musicians that I care about and tell me if being a hipster is tots mainstream. It’s also an excuse to remind you how much we h8 lamestream (yes, I just stole a Palin phrase) music, and about all the boring, sarcastic music reviews we did this year.
1) Record (like a Vinyl, durr) of the Year
F*** You
Cee Lo Green
The Smeezingtons, producers
I can’t say this surprises me at all. He is purrttty awesome.
2) Album of the Year
The Suburbs
Arcade Fire
Arcade Fire & Markus Dravs, producers; Arcade Fire, Mark Lawson & Craig Silvey, engineers/mixers; Mark Lawson, mastering engineer
[Merge Records]
Come on. We already explained that this album is shitty. I know, the lamestream media finally realized they are popular, but they fucking missed the boat on this one.
3) Song of the Year
F*** You
Cee Lo Green, Philip Lawrence & Bruno Mars, songwriters (Cee Lo Green)
[Elektra]
[see #1]
4) Best Pop Instrumental Performance
Orchestral Intro
Gorillaz
Track from: Plastic Beach
[Virgin Records]
As disappointed I was with this album, this is the one track that I’ll say didn’t make me punch myself in the dick until I cried.
5) Best Rock Performance
Ready To Start
Arcade Fire
Track from: The Suburbs
Really? Whatever. I just deleted them from my ipod RCA mp3 player.
Tighten Up
The Black Keys
Track from: Brothers
[Nonesuch]
Oh noes. They are making this personal. I <3 The Black Keys with a boner. I guess their latest (but by far not their best) album finally got the attention of music bores. It makes sense, I hear them in like every freakin car commercial. Every. Single. One. And the intro music for 2/3rds of HBO shows.
6) Best Rock Instrumental Performance
Black Mud
The Black Keys
Track from: Brothers
[Nonesuch]
Look I totally understand them nominating Tighten Up. It was a great song. As is this one. But not two nominations. For the love of god don’t do this to me….
7) Best Rock Song
Tighten Up
Dan Auerbach & Patrick Carney, songwriters (The Black Keys)
Track from: Brothers
[Nonesuch; Publisher: McMoore McLeest Publishing]
FUCK. You.
8) Best Alternative Music Album
The Suburbs
Arcade Fire
[Merge Records / Sonovox]
ZZZZZ.
Infinite Arms
Band Of Horses
[Columbia Records/Brown/FatPossum]
Hmmm. Not their best album, but they did cover a Cee-Lo song which is probably why they are on here.
Brothers
The Black Keys
[Nonesuch]
Wait. Do they mean Alt as in alt-bro? Are they fucking calling MY BLACK KEYS ‘alt-bros’?!?
Broken Bells
Broken Bells
[Columbia Records]
Okay. I can take this one, Dangermouse does deserve more $$$$$ dollar billz yo.
Contra
Vampire Weekend
[XL Recordings]
Isn’t that the band from that Twilight Series? Alright maybe I’m starting to see why alt-bros would love this entire list.
If you want the whole list, check it out here. But they even have an award for best album notes. So I’m starting to think these awards are bullshit? Or am I just being naive?,
