(click to enlarge fool)
I am no longer unemployed. I am now a part of society. I have a purpose. I am doing things. So stop collecting welfare on my dime! I would love to tell you more about my work. I would love to tell you what I do but it’s pretty much top secret. No one can know exactly what I do. It’s probably best just to tell you I am a drug dealer, or do secret government shit. That way, I dont have to explain to you what SenseMaking is and the 7 steps to properly make sense of things. Oh shit, I’ve said too much already.
Part of my ‘job’ is working in New York. The big apple. The city that looks like a penis on most maps. I get to be with my other brothers. The Heebs. The hipsters. The taxi cab drivers. Life is going to be the best! Too bad I’m commuting from Jew Nersey. Although, my best friend makes a point: If the Jets and Giants can claim they are from New York, yet actually play in Jersey, can’t I claim I live in New York? I guess so. Life in the Jerz (is that cool? can I say “jerz”?) has pretty much been the same as living with my parents. I haven’t been here for more than 48 hours and I’ve already been called “skinny jeans” and asked multiple times why I’m not married. Life is rough. Soon enough my big drug deal will go through, and Ill get enough money to move into a Brooklyn studio closet. But until then…
This is The Duckman from Jew Nersey, signing out.
P.S. Since I am such a controversial figure, I hope I don’t see people picketing my work with signs that say “we dont want the duckman working 50ish blocks away from ground zero.”
P.P.S Since Im working 12+ hours a day, you will not be seeing as much of me as you wanted. I am sorry. But my sexting service will still be going.
