Bill Clinton, 1st Jew-Pres, is a vegan

Well, I’m not surprised by this at all. Bill Clinton, our first Jewish president, lost a ton of weight. Not because of manorexia, but because he has been eating vegan food! All good hipster Jews dabble in veganism. I’ve done it, and the Duckman’s done it like a million times. It’s just something you have to do. If you want to be better than everyone, you need to create dietary restrictions. Not for religious reasons. But to be pompous and lord your moral relativism over everyone and everything else. I think it’s fair to say that Bill Clinton is officially the first Hipster Jew president. Sorry Barack. Not.