Bar Mitzvahs are a way for young Jewish people to make money. Boatloads and buttloads of moolah. The very rich Jews use it as a means of emulating Christian culture. Because who doesn’t want to throw a ‘Super Sweet 16′esque Bat Mitzvah?
Well one father decided to invite a bunch of famous politicians and celebrities to his son’s special day. He wanted to take the responses and create a commemorative scrapbook (from people he’s never met). On the off chance any of his invitees came, he would have been the coolest dad at his Temple’s Labor Day father-son softball game.
Here are the top 3:
1) Charlton Heston – ask any Jew about him and the first/only thing they’ll talk about was his role as Moses in The Ten Commandments. To get him to a Bar Mitzvah would be just as big as getting the real Moses to attend.
2) Barry “Barack” Jew-Bama. He loves Jews and they love him. This was pre-president Jew-Bama, where people believed in “Change”. This included bettering America and making Israel the second greatest country in the world. Even your elderly conservative Florida relatives would have been impressed.
3) Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. The man knows Jews. It’s obvious that either celebrities’ Bar/Bat Mitzvahs write to him all the time, or that his best friend is Jewish. Having Arnold at a Bar Mitzvah is like winning the lottery. An aging, steroid-induced lottery. But he beats a boring Judd Apatow DJ.
