The interweb is pretty much buzzing right now because word got out that an Israeli judge convicted an Arab man of rape for deceiving this chick into thinking he was Jewish. They had consensual sex. When she learned he was not Jewish she stated that she would not have had sex with him if she knew he wasn’t Jewish. So she claimed rape. And won.
Instead of me telling you how stupid this is, I am going to go through a list of different ways I’ve ‘deceived’ people into having sex with me, which, under current Israeli law, would apparently get me convicted of rape. If you have more to add to the list, feel free to post in the comment section.
- I own a condo in Brooklyn
- My brother plays for the San Jose Sharks
- Yo No Hablo English
- I really have to pee, can I use your bathroom?
- I train kittens to be in viral videos
- They named a town after me
- I swam across the english channel
- I totally love being a vegan
- I totally love eating steak
- I totally love being anorexic
- I was the brains behind Hipster Jew (just kidding… that never works…)
- …
More that I forgot about…
- I got two backstage passes to the Pixies and no one to take
- I can get you a 50% discount at Am Appy
- I used to manage Justin Bieber before he sold out
Arrest me officer…
Paul
07/21/2010
I travelled back in time and killed Hitler…