Yesterday I took the day off to meet the man of my dreams, Bill Clinton.
Frank Caprio is running for Governor in little Rhode Island. Probably the only person running. So to fire up the state he brought in Bill Clinton. The one thing Bill Clinton knows how to do is fire up a blue collar Dem crowd. I mean check out the video I uploaded of him talking…
I did have some problems with this rally. I don’t really run on hipster time (which is showing up mad late while being the star of the party). So I got there early. And waited. And waited. Three hours later I fell asleep standing up and tripped and hit an old lady. I wish I just made that up. Do you know what three hours of campaign rally music sounds like? I heard the same Fleetwood Mac (video below), U2, Coldplay, The Verve, and The Who songs played 4 times. Awful.
Bill and Frank come out. Bill was late and we all know it. But hey, being the first black President and the first Hipster Jew President is tough. He’s got to build up the anticipation. Really, I didn’t care what anyone had to say about politics. It didn’t matter to me. I am not registered in this state and won’t vote in the state I am registered in due to ‘Jury Duty’ conflicts. I was there to see one of the only three U.S. Presidents to ever be compared to Jimmy Carter.
But one thing bothered me the entire time. I have about 50 photos and all of them have Frank Caprio just standing a foot behind Clinton in this awkward position. Never moving.
Which bring me to my next point. Doesnt Frank Caprio look like Joaquin Phoenix in Walk the Line?
And Bill Clinton lost some weight. He is starting to look a bit like Larry Bird, right?
Idk. Anyways, Im back in the news again. (at 1:36 my shitty cellphone pops up from the bottom left hand of the screen)
