The main island in NYC had it’s moments. Art museums, the lower east side, Kosher Delis. But there are also lots of reasons to stay the hell away from there. The ghosts of Wall Street, foreign people, Woody Allen (if you are under the age of 20).
Now there is another reason to avoid Manhattan like an old exgirlfriend: Central Park. Besides for the usual dose of muggings, fake Rollexxxes, and rapes, we can add something new to that list: Trees that murder people.
That’s right. Twice this year, falling branches in Murder Park have seriously hurt and killed people. In fact, just yesterday a 6-month old baby died from a falling tree branch. Even the one ‘green space’ in that cesspool of crime and corruption is turning into Murderville, USA. Maybe Mark Wahlberg was right when he filmed The Happening.
This is why all good people live in tree-scarce, Woody-Allen-free Brooklyn.
Remember: In Manhattan, even your dog may try to kill you.
