I know this is a little behind on the news, but I had to address it anyway.
Dear Jesse James,
I want to be a Jewish cowboy. I know you used to be a cowboy a long time ago. Could you give me a few pointers on how to be one? What? Oh sorry, wrong Jesse James.
Let me start over. I know what you were thinking. Married to a successful (if not ever-so-slightly talented) actress, you couldn’t take the pressures of being the trophy husband. So you did what only a rational man would do. You found some weird looking, tat-covered neo-Nazi chick and you showed her a good time. Or more likely, she showed you a good time. And things were going great until your terrible wife decided to win an Academy Award. So you did the only other thing a rational, thinking-man like yourself would do. You dropped her ass like third period biology. You couldn’t be seen with an actress who may be successful. That would ruin your image.
Even Hitler had a better public image
JJ, there is a reason I’m sending you this letter. It didn’t help that you were caught with a Hitler stache giving a Nazi salute. I know, I know, it was all fun and games. But you see, there are funny Hitler jokes and bad taste Hitler jokes. You performed one of the latter. And, because you decided that neo-Nazi ass was better than actress ass, I’ve got to ask: Do you hate me? Do you hate my people? Is that why you cheated on your wife? Did she befriend too many Jews in Hollywood for you to accept? And would you get it on with a skinhead neo-Nazi? Just wondering how far you’d take these shenanigans.
On a side note, I know a Jew who is interested in selling some terrible Nazi paraphernalia. He said he wouldn’t sell to neo-Nazis, but since you’re obviously not a neo-Nazi I’ll send his info your way. He also promised me a commission.
JJ, I’m sure in a few weeks this will all blow over. But maybe next time try not to go the way of a neo-Nazi K-Fed. Please keep in mind that even Jews rarely make a good Nazi/Holocaust joke. I’m not calling you a neo-Nazi, just an insensitive asshole. Who most likely is an anti-Semite.
Sincerely,
Chicky
P.S. I heard of an AA (anti-Semite Anonymous) support group with Mel Gibson if you ever wanted to pretend to be cured. Although every one really knows racism and homosexuality can’t be cured.
