UK-based Attitude Magazine is ‘putting the sin into synagogue’. I wish I could make up this story, but its March 2010 issue will be showing off some sexy JILFs. A part of me hopes for a couple J-MILFs to be thrown into the mix, but I fear that would be both non-Kosher and Freudian.
I will be honest, I am a little surprised that not a single sexy JILF (Can I say J-HILF?) has any tattoos. Maybe the UK Jews are behind our ingenious and progressive American values of pissing off our parents quicker 
than before.
Either way, this is a wonderful direction for Jews to be headed in. Finally, we will no longer be remembered just for sexually deviant comedians and politically impotent politicians (Not you, Al Franken).
The creepy part? I’m pretty sure that dude sat next to me in Hebrew class.
Shiksas: Need not apply.
Also, be on the lookout for JILF Tees in the near future.
Mike Niemeyer
02/10/2010
I just read Operation Shylock and The Human Stain by Philip Roth. Does he count as a JILF?
Woody Allen was the original.
Or Lenny Bruce?
What about Sarah Silverman?
I for one would like to start a campaign based solely on my self-absorbed, narcissistic, solipsistic personality.
MILF–Mike I’d Like to Fuck.
Alas, there are no takers.
I am unlovable!
Or so they say.
Or so I imagine they say.
Allen Ginsberg is a JILF for sure.
But he also is a Beat Poet.
Howl
II
What sphinx of cement and aluminum bashed open their skulls and ate up their brains and imagination?
Moloch! Solitude! Filth! Ugliness! Ashcans and unobtainable dollars! Children screaming under the stairways! Boys sobbing in armies! Old men weeping in the parks!
Moloch! Moloch! Nightmare of Moloch! Moloch the loveless! Mental Moloch! Moloch the heavy judger of men!
Moloch the incomprehensible prison! Moloch the crossbone soulless jailhouse and Congress of sorrows! Moloch whose buildings are judgment! Moloch the vast stone of war! Moloch the stunned governments!
Moloch whose mind is pure machinery! Moloch whose blood is running money! Moloch whose fingers are ten armies! Moloch whose breast is a cannibal dynamo! Moloch whose ear is a smoking tomb!
Moloch whose eyes are a thousand blind windows! Moloch whose skyscrapers stand in the long streets like endless Jehovas! Moloch whose factories dream and choke in the fog! Moloch whose smokestacks and antennae crown the cities!
Moloch whose love is endless oil and stone! Moloch whose soul is electricity and banks! Moloch whose poverty is the specter of genius! Moloch whose fate is a cloud of sexless hydrogen! Moloch whose name is the Mind!
Moloch in whom I sit lonely! Moloch in whom I dream angels! Crazy in Moloch! Cocksucker in Moloch! Lacklove and manless in Moloch!
Moloch who entered my soul early! Moloch in whom I am a consciousness without a body! Moloch who frightened me out of my natural ecstasy! Moloch whom I abandon! Wake up in Moloch! Light streaming out of the sky!
Moloch! Moloch! Robot apartments! invisible suburbs! skeleton treasuries! blind capitals! demonic industries! spectral nations! invincible madhouses! granite cocks! monstrous bombs!
They broke their backs lifting Moloch to Heaven! Pavements, trees, radios, tons! lifting the city to Heaven which exists and is everywhere about us!
Visions! omens! hallucinations! miracles! ecstasies! gone down the American river!
Dreams! adorations! illuminations! religions! the whole boatload of sensitive bullshit!
Breakthroughs! over the river! flips and crucifixions! gone down the flood! Highs! Epiphanies! Despairs! Ten years’ animal screams and suicides! Minds! New loves! Mad generation! down on the rocks of Time!
Real holy laughter in the river! They saw it all! the wild eyes! the holy yells! They bade farewell! They jumped off the roof! to solitude! waving! carrying flowers! Down to the river! into the street!
Ari
02/10/2010
How could you question Sarah Silverman being a JILF? Sarah Silverman is possibly the queen JILF.