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Debunking Google Search 3: Jews don’t eat babies, silly goose

Google Search hates Jews

So this is a little embarrassing, but everything on this list seems pretty true. Jews love to eat non-Kosher food. The pig, shellfish, lobstah. Breaking dietary restrictions is what Jews do best. And complain about the guilt while it happens. I like how the internet needed to reiterate early on that Jews eat pork. Maybe I’m paranoid/delusional, but it seems Google is guilting us for being mediocre with our religion. Oh well.

I enjoy Jewish stereotypes that are true. Chinese food on Christmas? Check. Even the Chinese don’t eat chinese food on Xmas, but we sure do. What else are we supposed to do? I’m serious. If you have any suggestions for us, besides chinese and a movie, please tell.

Eating babies? Not so much. Well some Arabs and conspiracy theorists believe Jews use the blood of baby Christians for our Passover matzoh. But that’s just ridiculous. If baby blood tasted so great why waste it on a utterly miserable product? (Note: if you have never eaten matzoh for 8 days straight then you will probably still enjoy the taste of Christian baby blood.) Put baby blood in our cereal, or challah, to give it some added flavor.

As for ‘Jews eating habits’, we are not animals. We do not have ‘eating habits’. It’s called cultural tradition. And your welcome for lox, every deli in America, chicken/matzoh ball soup, and the bagel. No babies though.



About author
Co-Owner/Editor of Hipsterjew.com. Comedian. Collector of souls. Occasional ruby speculator. Sometime my mom comments on my posts. See if you can figure out which one she is! Follow @chickywink
2 total comments on this postSubmit yours
  1. The Blood Libel probably didn’t originate in Arab countries. It was already spreading through Europe, specifically the holy Roman Empire, Ukraine, and Rus, at the same times as it was beginning through Arab nations.

  2. Catholics love pouring fresh baby blood on their baby being baptized. They need to steal the blood from a different baby. It’s a long, exhaustive search.

    We also eat Christmas Trees.

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